What the heck is Bipolar 1, ADHD and a Sensory Processing Disorder?!-ADHD

ADHD--Attention Deficit/ Hyper Activity Disorder.  That is a lot of words, and A LOT to unpack. I like think of myself as Sonic the Hedgehog for this one--constantly in motion, always moving, breaking apart when hitting an obstacle and losing all the stuff he's collected along the way.  People like to throw it around a lot-she's so ADHD, but it's not all fun and games.

See, for me, mania and ADHD are linked pretty closely. For me, ADHD presents itself as being in constant motion. I literally cannot sit still, and if I'm not HYPER-FOCUSED, I have a very hard time paying attention. I am terrible in meetings, for this reason. I cannot focus unless something catches my interest.

I am as DISORGANIZED as they come. And I mean a complete and total WRECK. I cannot, for the life of me, organize ANYTHING. I lose EVERYTHING. I put papers down, they go into what my students call the "black hole" because they never reappear. I do not know how to color code or set things up, or even clean properly (as my Step-Mom can attest to). No matter how hard I try, it NEVER works. I get write-ups by my principal for having a completely disorganized classroom, and no matter what I do, it never works.

I have a very low frustration threshold, and that leads to a lot of meltdowns. I get far too overwhelmed with things (tasks, organization, things that are too confusing or challenging) and I will have a meltdown like crazy. I will cry, and hit things, and throw things. I will yell and scream and fall to the floor. I will hyperventilate because my brain can literally NOT process or handle whatever it is I'm supposed to do.

I am also really IMPULSIVE and say things I really shouldn't say. I cannot help it, things just come out of my mouth. Or actions just happen. "Oh look! There's a hill, I'm going to roll down it." It makes no sense, I know this, but at the time it seems like a really good idea. Except, like with mania, there are consequences. Going to the casino and playing a $100 slot machine sounds like a good idea at the time, but really isn't.